Why did you have to make me cry?

On Friday, a big group of CreCommers went down to the King’s Head Pub. On my end of the table, somehow the topic of conversation shifted to movies or shows that have made us cry unexpectedly.

Now, this is a topic that I am all too familiar with. Apparently, I’m an emotional dude who can be easily affected by good writing and amazing song selections. But it’s typically not drama’s or highly emotional shows or movies that get me. Instead, it has been comedies that have suckered me in with light-hearted entertainment and laughs, only to jab me right in the feels when I’m least expecting it…

FUNNY THINGS SHOULDN’T ALSO MAKE YOU CRY. It’s not fair.

So here we go… Here are four ways you can make me cry by simply pointing me towards a computer screen:

There are TWO TV episodes and TWO movies that will have tears streaming down the sides of my face guarenteed, 100% of the time. Hell, on Friday when I was explaining why they made me cry I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

I’ll start with the movies, since they’re the most popularly known tearjerker endings that I know of…

1. Monsters Inc.

So most of you reading this should have seen this Pixar classic. If you haven’t, go to your local Blockbust….errrrr or check on Netflix to see if its there. Just watch it. Without spoiling it too much, basically the whole movie is cute and funny children’s stuff with this cute little girl running around with these big (not so) scary monsters names Scully and Mike. The monsters slowly start to bond with her until yadda yadda yadda, plot points and things happen. In the final scene, Scully gets an opportunity to reunite with the little girl one last time and cue the wave of emotions.

I remember I was watching this movie in a U of Manitoba Film Studies course on animation, and tried my damnedest to keep it together amongst my class of 30 or so people. Luckily, my choice to sit at the back of the class afforded me a quick escape so that people couldn’t see my emotions seeping from my eyes.

2. Toy Story 3

So I tried to avoid spoilers with the last post (which now realize is impossible given that I described the last scene in the movie which… would spoil a lot if you’ve never seen Monsters Inc. before…), but if you’re not caught up with the Toy Story trilogy, clearly you have no interest in doing so.

OK. SO WHAT’S UP, PIXAR?

Let’s get this straight. First, you set up the whole narrative with Andy not being interested in his toys, which results in the toys thinking they’re about to be thrown out or whatever. So the plot progresses, and I’m laughing and enjoying the movie. Woody and the gang escape from the prison-like day care centre, only to be nearly BURNT ALIVE at the dump in what was the first emotional punch in the gut in store for your audience. Thanks to the plucky alien squeak toy pals using a claw to save everyone (brilliant call back to the original Toy Story), everyone gets saved and manage to make it back to Andy’s house.

Then, as Andy is leaving for college, he goes to donate the toys to a little girl around the block, and WHAM. You hit us with the most heart-wrenching music as Andy gives each toy a passionate description of how he played with them back in the first film. He gets through what he thinks is all of them, but Woody had crawled into the box with the other toys. Andy had not intended to give away his most favourite toy of all time, but… Okay I’m doing an awful job of describing this, so here:

And with that video, someone replaced Pixar’s music with EVEN MORE EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED MUSIC. Thanks, Roger Arreola, I’d only cried three times today thinking about writing this blog post. Now I know that apparently my body has an unlimited supply of tears to draw from.

Anyways, Pixar apparently has my number when it comes to creating these emotional moments in their animated movies. Hell, I haven’t even seen Up yet because I’ve watched the opening 6 minutes on YouTube and don’t think I could finish the whole movie.

Moving on, the television episodes both come from the same series…

Futurama.

Now, if you’re a fan of Futurama, you already know which episodes I must be talking about here. If you aren’t a huge fan of Futurama, and are wondering to yourself “isn’t that the show made by the Simpsons guy about a robot and a talking lobster?” — you’re correct. But it’s also the show responsible for arguably the two best episodes of television I’ve seen, in terms of being both hilarious, entertaining and utterly heartbreaking at the same time.

3. The Luck of the Fryrish (Season 3, Episode 4)

I’ll touch on this episode first because I want to save the absolute best for last. In this episode, we follow Fry and the gang as they try to track down the lucky seven-leaf clover that Fry had before he came to the future. Through a series of flashbacks inspired by the group’s journey through Old New York, we get to see Fry’s testy relationship with his older brother Yancy. As the episode goes on, Fry realizes that apparently his brother not only stole his lucky clover, but also his identity and dream to become an astronaut. Filled with rage, Fry, Bender and Leela go up to the orbiting graveyard where Earth’s greatest heroes are buried, to dig up his brothers grave and get his clover back.

But when they get to the gravesite, we get another flashback as Fry makes an important realization…

(Sorry that this just includes the audio, but thats all you need really)

Damn you, Futurama. It amazes me how a show can take you from one extreme to another. Go from making you tear up, to having Bender jump in with a funny line a moment later. Ugh, I shouldn’t have watched that clip again. Moving on.

4. Jurassic Bark (Season 4, Episode 7)

This. I don’t understand how human beings created this without depleting the world’s supply of tissues, because if I just think about this episode for too long, I turn into a crying mess.

This episode is all the more powerful if you had a dog growing up as a kid. The episode revolves around Fry finding his old dog, Seymour, as a fossilized specimen at a museum. Again, like in the Luck of the Fryrish, we get a bunch of flashbacks that show Seymour and Fry hanging out back in the 1990s. Bender is jealous that Fry will be getting his old friend back, and tries to sabotage the attempt to bring Seymour back to live by cloning his DNA.

Again, its the ending of this episode that gets me. Luckily, there’s no clip of this particular show on YouTube, but there is many versions of the song that they play. The song. Just haunting. Have a listen.

And check out the comments. So many people referencing Seymour and Futurama.

For the longest time, I thought I was weird for being so emotionally effected by a cartoon, but finding things like those comments on the internet have proven to me that I’m not strange. Futurama just hit it out of the park with these episodes. I seriously have to stop and consider whether not I’m ready to cry whenever Jurassic Bark or the Luck of the Fryrish comes on TV. Is it worth feeling like garbage for a half hour after the episode is over? Most of the time it is. They’re just too good.

Another Futurama episode that I had heard completes the trifecta of tearjerkers is Game of Tones from Season 10, where Fry has to revisit his last night in the 90s through his memories, and desperately wants a chance to talk to his mother just one more time. I actually watched it just before writing this blog and yup, it definitely deserves an honourable mention on this list.

So here’s a challenge for you, if you think you can handle it: watch The Luck of the Fryrish, Jurassic Bark and Game of Tones back-to-back-to-back without shedding a single tear.

If you make it through, then you’re some sort of monster. Oh wait no, we know from Monsters Inc. that monsters have feelings too.

So I guess that makes you something worse than a monster.

I guess that would make you a Republican   PR major   robot or something….

Oh, and I guess in closing I should mention that I decided to become a Journalism major next year, if you couldn’t tell already.

Five years of Five Second Films

Do you have five seconds to spare? In our crazy-paced modern world, fragmented conversations and media occursall day long via Twitter, Facebook and whatever other social media outlets people are into (Instagram, Vine, Snap Chat ect.).

Following the same guiding principle is the YouTube channel “5secondfilms”, which recently concluded a staggering five-year run of releasing a new five-second video every day monday through friday. By my very rough calculations, that means that the talented folks behind the channel have collectively churned out well over 1000 videos.

Here is a 3-minute video put together by Cracked.com that showcases their picks for the top-25 5secondfilms:

Whats even more impressive about each video is that each film establishes the scene, characters and relationships all within the parameters of being only five seconds long. The humour is often dark and shocking (no point in being subtle when you’ve only got five seconds to get a reaction), but what I always enjoyed the most about each five second film was both the entirely random nature of clicking on the latest video not knowing what you were going to get, and the waffling production quality.

Now, it could be said that, in the same way that video killed the radio star, perhaps Vine killed 5secondfilms. Suddenly, what was once an entirely novel idea (telling a story or joke in 5 seconds) is accessible to anyone with a smartphone. I don’t know if I believe that as much as I believe that it’s hard to come up with five unique stories or jokes to write, film and edit every week… Even if they’re all going to last only five seconds long.

Breaking from their format for their finale farewell, the team produced a two-part epic (for a production team known for 5-second-films, at least…) which you can watch below:

(might be worth a quick binge-watch of EVERY FIVE SECOND FILM so you get all the references…)

 

BONUS: If you’re really digging the style of their videos and are now bummed that you only found out about them now that they’ve stopped making new ones, I should inform you that the crew has moved over to Uproxx, where they are producing weekly content that is longer than five seconds.

Like this sweet music video:

And we’re BACK! And so is Bo Burnham with a new comedy special!

Happy New Years, people who follow this blog. First, some housekeeping… Sorry for the lack of updates at the end of 2013. The worst part was that there was a WHOLE BUNCH of really hilarious stuff I should have been blogging about, but my emphasis on quality over quantity evidentally led to neither… I will do my very best to keep it updated weekly with whatever had me LOLing or ROFLing or whatever the kids these days are using in texts.

I will also be attempting to hit one (or more) open mic stages around the city to flex my comedic muscle, so I’ll definitely keep you in the loop on that so everyone can come on down and watch me squirm for 3-5 minutes.

Anyways, for this post, I wanted to talk about Bo Burnham. Bo is a very young comedian who was one of the early YouTube contributors. He created the ‘boburnham’ channel in 2006 at the tender age of 16-years-old, and has made a name for himself by playing piano and singing cleverly written (but generally politically incorrect) songs via a webcam in his room.

Here’s the video that started it all:

That was from 2006, which is basically 50 internet years ago!  Since that initial video (Which has almost 8 million views!), he’s released four comedy albums, a book, and two comedy specials.

His latest special, “what.”, was released on YouTube and Netflix on December 17, and is perhaps the best comedy special of 2013.  He pushes boundaries by occasionally wading into crude or politically incorrect territory. His comedy stylings are certainly not for everyone, but to see the growth over the past 7 years as a writer, comedian and performer is quite remarkable. “what.” is like nothing you’ve ever seen before, and Burnham will surprise you at every turn.

I’ve imbedded the YouTube video below. As might be expected, Burnham doesn’t shy away from offensive language or subject matter, but it never comes across as malicious or vulgar simply for the sake of being vulgar. The special, nearly from start to finish, maintains frantic pacing that sets it apart from anything you’ve ever seen on a comedy stage.

(BONUS EDIT: Bo wins at the internet. Probably my favourite Vine.)

The best Star Wars reviews you’ll ever watch…

Firstly, Happy Halloween everybody. I know it’s technically two days after Halloween, but since it fell in the middle of the week, I think we get to celebrate it both the weekend before and the weekend after… SWEET.

This year, I put together a Han Solo costume.

Following along with the Star Wars theme, I feel compelled to share perhaps my favourite YouTube series produced by RedLetterMedia. Created by independent filmmaker Mike Stoklasa, RedLetterMedia’s most famous videos are its sci-fi reviews, which are channelled through a character of Stoklasa’s creation: Harry S. Plinkett.

I could describe Plinkett, but that would ruin most of the fun. Plinkett reviews the prequel Star Wars films in epic, almost feature-length videos; the review for Phantom Menace clocks in at nearly 70 minutes. That might seem a tad excessive, but trust me when I say that Stoklasa blends absurdly dark humour with a very intelligent argument as to why the prequels are an abomination to not only the Star Wars franchise, but to filmmaking in general.

You can checkout the Phantom Menace, Clone Wars and Revenge of the Sith reviews on their website, or through their YouTube channel. I’ve also embedded part one of the Phantom Menace review below. Check it out!

NEW SHOW: A gift from Bob Odenkirk and the Birthday Boys!

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Bob Odenkirk has a new show on IFC.

You may know Bob Odenkirk from his role as Saul Goodman, the greasy lawyer from Breaking Bad. However, you should know Bob Odenkirk from Mr. Show, the HBO sketch comedy show he created with David Cross in the 90s.

Bob Odenkirk’s influence on comedy should not be understated. A recent article on Wired.com argues that “the internet owes its sense of humour” to Odenkirk, and while the article might be a bit too glowing, the accompanying graphic (which I have shameless attached at the top of this post) that shows all of the creative connections that Bob has made throughout his career as a writer, producer and performer.

His latest project is The Birthday Boys, a sketch show that prominently features the LA sketch comedy troupe of the same name. How convenient!

So far, two episodes have been aired, and they have both been pretty awesome. The writing is on point and although I’m not familiar with The Birthday Boys’ previous work, Odenkirk has never led me astray yet.

You can catch The Birthday Boys on Fridays at 9:30c on IFC, or if you can’t catch it or don’t have IFC on your cable package, I hear that there are other means to acquire a digital copy of the programme.

Not that I would know anything about that shady side of the internet…

Calvin and Hobbes creator Bill Watterson gives rare interview.

The final Calvin and Hobbes strip, which appeared New Years Eve 1995. Via: GoComics.com
The final Calvin and Hobbes comic strip.
Published Dec. 31, 1995.
Via: GoComics.com

 

If your only exposure to Calvin and Hobbes has come from seeing Calvin pissing on a Ford or Chevy logo in the back window of a pickup truck, then WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Calvin and Hobbes ran in newspapers from 1985 until December 1995, and is arguably the greatest comic strip of all time. I can say that because I will argue that point until I die.

Cartoonist Bill Watterson had this wonderful way of depicting Calvin’s imagined worlds, and transitioning in and out of reality. Much like The Simpsons, Watterson’s work was able to connect with both younger and older audiences. Having read most of Calvin and Hobbes as a kid, I’ve enjoyed re-reading them all as an adult. The entire series has been archived at GoComics.com.

Bill Watterson has been notoriously reclusive, and extremely protective of the original source material. Thats what makes the interview he did withso interesting. You can read it here:

Calvin and Hobbes creator Bill Watterson gives rare interview to Mental Floss magazine.

The Simpsons: When will it stop?

the_simpsons_tapped_out
Tapped Out, indeed.

Like every other well-balanced 20-something of my generation, my childhood years were defined by watching The Simpsons. I distinctly remember how important it was to have watched Sunday’s episode so that you could talk about it at school on Monday. This would have been during the tail-end of what is considered the “golden age” of The Simpsons (Any episode from the first eight seasons.)

Now, considering I was only one-year-old when the first season originally aired, I actually caught up on most of the earlier episodes through syndication, which allowed The Simpsons to air five days a week immediately after school. The beautiful genius of The Simpsons was that their comedy audience included both children and adults, and somehow the jokes managed to hit for both demographics. Now as I revisit the earlier episodes for the 50th time (it feels like), I’m finally able to appreciate all the literary, film and other pop-culture references that made the show so great.

I’ll make a point to catch any old rerun of The Simpsons.

However, I can’t recall the last time I’ve sat down to catch a new episode live on Sunday night. Part of that could be that I’m just too busy to find the time to sit down and watch it on Sundays. But the bigger issue is…

The Simpsons really shouldn’t be making new shows on television anymore.

As a bit of an aside, I’ve been working on this post for a while now. I was planning on posting my thoughts on the state of The Simpsons last week, but I felt that it would end up being more of an opinionated rant than anything backed up with facts or first-hand accounts from people who know what they’re talking about. I remembered talking about the decline of The Simpsons with Leif Larsen at the Manitoban offices a few years ago, and he recommended reading The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History by John Ortved.  So I read it.

For a fan of the series looking to get a better insight into the creation of The Simpsons and rise to prominence should certainly check the book out. The format can be hard to follow, as there are lengthy quotes from showrunners, producers and writers of the first eight seasons, but the quotes are also the most interesting parts of the book.

Anyways, based on the information presented in the book, you can track the transition from the ‘golden age’ based on the transitions between show runners. For the first eight seasons, there were four different showrunners (sometimes in groups of two or three). Casual fans might not recognize names like Sam Simon, Al Jean or David Mirkin, but they were the men tasked with producing the show and keeping the writer’s room in line.

(Stories from the writer’s room was the most interesting part of the book, by the way. Especially the chapter on Conan O’Brien, but I might be somewhat biased because I’m a huge Conan fan.)

Anyways, Looking at the first eight seasons, each showrunner got two seasons in charge. Then, Mike Scully took over for season nine and stayed on from 1997-2001. His run was followed up by Al Jean, who has been The Simpsons showrunner ever since, as the show heads into it’s 25th season (!) this year.

Now, part of the reason why The Simpsons will never be as good as the golden-era episodes is simply because back in the early 90s, the show was still fresh, controversial and new. The characters (especially the humongous cast of secondary characters) had not gone through “Flanderization”, which, according to TVTropes.org:

The act of taking a single (often minor) action or trait of a character within a work and exaggerating it more and more over time until it completely consumes the character. Most always, the trait/action becomes completely outlandish and it becomes their defining characteristic. Sitcoms and Sitcom characters are particularly susceptible to this, as are peripheral characters in shows with long runs.

Named for one of the examples in The Simpsons, Ned Flanders, who was originally just a considerate neighbor and attentive father (contrast to Homer), before becoming obsessively religious to the point of lunacy.

First off, considering that The Simpsons is the longest-running animated series, longest running sitcom and longest running scripted primetime series in US television history.

That will almost force the writers to have to try and find topical material to write about, or to go with more outlandish story ideas. And in the fifth and sixth seasons, when Homer went to space, Bart got an elephant and the Simpson family creates an international event in Australia, these wacky adventures were the exception, not the rule.

But maybe it was the two-parter “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” episode where the show hit one of its highest marks in popularity and hype, while at the same time jumping the shark as a series.

Here’s a test for anyone who considers themselves a Simpsons fan. Go through the full episode list (all 500+ episodes), from season one to season 24, and just based on the titles, see how many episodes you recognize—whether it’s the plot or specific jokes and gags that have stood the test of time. You’ll realize just how stacked the first eight or nine seasons are, compared to the next 15 seasons.

You can also see just how over-the-top the stories became. Even though it’s always been a cartoon with an often absurd and satirical sense of humour, the early episodes were always grounded in it’s own version of reality. Now check out this entry from Wikisimpsons on the upcoming season.

An episode dedicated to Kent Brockman? Comic Book Guy getting married? A Futurama/Simpsons crossover episode?

Come on, man. The only reason why I’m somewhat looking forward to the Futurama crossover episode is because it should hopefully cleanse my memory of the Family Guy/Simpsons crossover in production.

Anyways, the one thing that I think fans, former-fans, or haters can all agree on is that whenever The Simpsons mercifully comes to an end, it will be an emotional series finale. For millions of people around the world (myself included).

The Simpsons have been there throughout my entire life. And just like something you sort of take for granted after a while, as much as it’s been played out and deserves a respectable close, it will be a sad day when The Simpsons comes to an end.

But the time has come…and passed… and will come again. Al Jean, speaking to Entertainment Weekly, says he hopes to get to 30 seasons by the end of the decade. So it doesn’t seem like The Simpsons will be ending any time soon.

But at least we can all look forward to reruns, which will probably air on television until the end of time.